It was 2 AM, and I had one mission—to put my peacefully sleeping baby into the crib without waking the beast.
I moved with the precision of a bomb squad technician. Lowering… lowering… almost there…
And then—💥 WAILING. Instant, deafening outrage.
I froze. My baby, who had been blissfully snoring five seconds ago, was now screaming like I had betrayed his soul.
Defeated, I picked his up.
He sighed, snuggled in, and fell asleep instantly.
It was in that moment—standing in the dark, swaying with my baby like an exhausted zombie—I realized: I had become a human mattress.
If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—you’re not alone.
Why Does My Baby Want to Be Held All the Time?
As frustrating as it is to have a baby who refuses to be put down, it actually makes perfect sense from a developmental perspective.
1. It’s in Their DNA
Babies are born hardwired for survival. In the wild (you know, back when we lived in caves), a baby left alone = easy prey.
Your baby doesn’t know he’s in a safe, cozy crib—his instincts scream, “If I’m not in your arms, I’m in danger!”
2. They’re Building Secure Attachment
Holding your baby comforts them and teaches them the world is a safe place.
Clinginess isn’t a bad habit—it’s a sign of trust. Babies who feel secure become more independent over time.
3. Separation Anxiety Kicks In
Around 4-9 months, babies realize: “Wait… Mom can walk away?!”
This newfound awareness triggers separation anxiety, making them extra clingy. It’s a phase, and like all phases, it won’t last forever.
How to Survive (and Even Enjoy) the Clingy Baby Phase
Now that we know why our babies refuse to be put down, let’s talk about what we can do (besides accepting our fate as permanent baby carriers).
1. Babywearing = Hands-Free Freedom 👶🎒
If your baby wants to be held all day, invest in a good baby carrier.
✔️ Keeps baby snuggled close
✔️ Frees up your hands to do basic human things (like eat)
✔️ Prevents arm cramps from holding 15 pounds of baby for hours
Win-win.
2. Master the Stealth Transfer 🛏️
Trying to put baby down without waking them? Try this:
✔️ Warm the crib with a heating pad (remove it before placing baby in)
✔️ Lower them gently, bum first, then head
✔️ Keep your hand on their chest for a few seconds before letting go
Success rate? Not 100%, but better than nothing.
3. The Power of Distraction 🧸
Babies get clingy when they’re bored or fussy.
✔️ Engage them with toys, music, or a silly game
✔️ Offer a safe space like a playmat with interesting textures
✔️ Introduce other caregivers so they get used to being held by others
4. Embrace the Contact Naps (For Now) 💤
I won’t lie—sometimes, the easiest way to get a baby to sleep is letting them nap on you.
Instead of stressing, make it work for you:
✔️ Use the time to rest (Netflix counts as self-care)
✔️ Listen to audiobooks or podcasts
✔️ Remind yourself: they won’t always want to sleep on you 😭
One day, you’ll miss the cuddles. Promise.
5. Gradually Encourage Independence
If you want your baby to be less clingy, introduce small baby steps:
✔️ Start with short periods of playtime on their own
✔️ Practice the “I’ll be right back” game (leave for 10 seconds, then return)
✔️ Build a consistent routine so they feel secure even when not in your arms
They won’t magically become independent overnight, but they will learn to trust that you always come back.
The Moment I Realized It Wouldn’t Last Forever
One evening, after months of carrying, rocking, and surviving on one-handed snacks, I tried something different.
I placed my baby in his crib and said, “Mommy’s here. You’re safe.”
To my shock—he didn’t scream.
He fussed for maybe 20 seconds, then rolled over and fell asleep.
And just like that, I knew:
✔️ The clingy phase was ending.
✔️ My baby was growing more independent.
✔️ I kind of… missed it already.
Final Thoughts
✔️ Clingy babies aren’t trying to drive you crazy—they’re learning to trust the world.
✔️ Babywearing, distractions, and gradual independence help.
✔️ It’s exhausting, but it won’t last forever.
💬 Got a stage-five clinger? What’s your funniest clingy baby moment? Share in the comments!
